on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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