i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
