Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
