I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
