just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
