In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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