Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
