well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
worst night to have a conscience
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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