Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
