Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
