remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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