so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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