it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
