I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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