I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
