That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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