why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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