let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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