That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
