So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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