I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
