it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
