she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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