he puts the penis in happiness.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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