Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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