You're completely useless in the revolution.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
