we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
