the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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