He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
