i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
