I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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