every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Randomize
