Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
