I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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