The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
