those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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