Will you blow on my dice?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
