did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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