She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
organizing the empties. That sober.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
