Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
