the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
