i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
