Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
