So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
