i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
