no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
