it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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