Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
