This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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