Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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