I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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