There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
