I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
