That's when you crack a 10am beer
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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