we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
