i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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