I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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